It's been one year since you went away.

This weekend

marked

the one year

anniversary

of

my father's

untimely

exit of this world.

How does one celebrate

a death?

I mean do you?

Are you supposed to?

What do you say?

Happy Deathaversary?

I can tell you now that

I was far from

a celebratory mood.

I wasn't all teary

and crap either...

I just was.

I was in pain,

I was sad,

I was relieved that he doesn't have to suffer anymore.

I was humbled

that a God

so big

so mighty to save

so loving.

Cared enough

for me

to bring me through this past weekend

unscathed. Except for the memories that never were.

The what ifs.

The why nots

The if only's.

When do those go away?

Will they ever?

God, I pray they do.

 

SN: I got two tattoos and I love them.

This one is Hebrew and says I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine.

Song of Solomon 6:3

 This one has two words in one.

Both words are really special to me.

Comment if you can guess what they are.

Help! My Preschooler is going to drive me crazy!

You see that face in the picture below?

It's cute right?

He looks like a even-tempered little man.

He's even sporting a smile.

Um... Yeah... 

As of the last few weeks not so much.

the culprit

Okay, so everyone knows that my wonderful little Athlete

turned 4 last year...

With that birthday 

came the dawning of something else new as well...

It's called tantrums.

Now as much as 

I like to post

that my children 

are

perfect

well-behaved, 

as of late 

I've been 

proven wrong

time and time 

again 

by said 

wonderful little athlete.

I'm at a loss y'all. 

With the Artist, we didn't have these problems.

She is 

well-mannered

well-behaved

well-dressed

and 

well...

Just super freaking awesome.

I love that girl.

I love my little boy as well,

I thank God for him 

all day, every day

don't get me wrong...

But my goodness

what do I do about these tantrums?

I could go old school like 

my mama and grand-mama's.

Yep.

We all know what that means... 

Anyway,

I can't bring myself to do that. 

I remember how it felt 

and 

how it made me feel

and

I just won't be doing that to my kids

or uh kid. 

Time-outs 

don't seem to work

for him. 

He gets up 

and/or

screams louder

 and said tantrums are 

subject to happen

 anywhere.

in front of anybody

He is an equal-opportunity tantrum thrower. 

His screams 

break my heart

 into like a million tiny pieces.

They are painful to hear.

I mean down-right awful!

:-(

I don't give in...

but

my goodness. 

How can I keep doing this?

He's wearing me down with every single scream.

I've read so much that I don't want to see another 

behavioral book or website. 

I want advice. I need help

from real mama's, mom's, mommy's, and Jan

if that's what your kid calls you... 

This weary soul is accepting any

and all advice. 

Help!

Please & Thank You.

Circus Anyone?

While I hate that I'm away 
and will miss out 
on these great deals
doesn't mean 
that you should!


Go to the Greatest Show on Earth! :-)








Jacksonville - Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Presents DRAGONS!

Tickets: http://www.ticketmaster.com/venueartist/278757/1657755

Dates:
January 19 7:30 pm
January 20 7:30 pm
January 21 11:30 am, 3:30 pm, 7:30 pm
January 22 1:00 pm, 5:00 pm

Venue:
Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena

JFAMRB = ($5.00 discount)

---

Tallahassee - Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Presents Barnum Bash

Tickets: http://www.ticketmaster.com/search?tm_link=tm_homeA_header_search&user_input=&q=Ringling+%2B+Tallahassee

Dates: January 26-29
Jan. 26 - 7:00pm
Jan 27 - 7:00pm
Jan 28 - 3:00pm, 7:00pm
Jan 29 - 1:00pm, 5:00pm

Venue:
Tallahassee - Leon County Civic Center

Special Promo Code
TFAMRB = ($5.00 discount)

---

Tallahassee - Advance Auto Parts Monster Jam

Tickets: http://www.monsterjam.com/Events/2012/02/17/Tallahassee,_FL/

Dates: Feb 17 & 18
Feb 17 - 7:00pm
Feb 18 - 7:00pm (pit party at 4:30pm)

Venue: Tallahassee-Leon County Civic Center


TFAMMJ = Save $5.00 off Regular Admission Tickets

Official Start

Tomorrow is the official start date

of my

90 day

P.I.N.K. Method Challenge

Follow along at:

Operation Healthy Spouse

'cause y'all know I'm going to need cheerleaders! :-)

Thank You and Thank You and You too!

Excuse me...

but this may get a little mushy.

I've got to give out some serious reader love

You guys are awesome

completely

utterly

and 

irrevocably

AWESOME!

So I'm sending out hugs to all of you. 

Thank you so much for all your comments 

on the previous post. 

I can't thank you 

enough.

I grew up with a mother 

addicted to 

both 

drugs and alcohol, 

so 

for her to accuse me 

of something

I 

despise 

so much;

was just a little to much to handle.

It opened up 

some deep wounds

and 

scars

that I thought 

were long gone.

I went through hell as a child 

because of

what my mom 

was

and 

I

don't ever want 

to be known as that 

myself.

 

PS. Christy I certainly agree with you 

that she is a

miserable bitch.

Again, I'd like to

thank you for you kind words and support.

It was definitely appreciated.

But that's enough on this subject.

 

 

On to fun stuff!

So, I've joined in on this tumblr revolution

because I know you'd get tired of all

my fitness exploits here.

I'm starting a program tomorrow

and 

I'm going to document my journey at

http://operationhealthyspouse.tumblr.com/

So don't forget to follow along

as I'm going to need some 

cheerleaders

along the way. 

Okay, off to go get the hurr did. 

xoxoxoxo