Today...

was a very good day, and I thank God for that. :-)

xoxo,
Me~

A whole lotta crap.

OK... so today sucked. It had it's good points but for the most part it sucked pretty hard.

I awoke at 6:00 this morning to a screaming baby boy who had taken off his diaper and pee'd and pooped all over his sheets... and had it all over his feet since he was standing on the side of the crib wailing his alarm. I thought fabulous... I get him out of bed clean him up, give him a bottle, and change his sheets and stuff... OK... he doesn't want to go back to sleep until 8:30... I say cool.

I try and get an hour of sleep since I have a doctor's appt at 11:30 and an interview at 1:30...

I get up at 9:45, try to get ready and out of the house by 10:45, I don't leave home until 11, drop the kids off at MIL house by 11:15 and try to make it to the base by 11:30... keep in mind the base is like 20 miles from our house. LOL

I get to the doctor 15 minutes late and have to reschedule, I'm pretty upset, try to explain DH is deployed and I've got 2 kids to get ready and get to a babysitter... No sympathy, just a new appointment... I take what I get and say whatever... Call DH to fuss on his VM.

I then decide to go get sushi since by this time I have an hour to burn waiting for the interview... Get to the sushi place and order, I get my order and only have 1 roll... I'm like WTF... I ordered 2 thankyouverymuch. Waitress doesn't speak very good English so I'm like screw it... get my check and they've charged me for the invisible roll. I kindly explain what happen and they fix the mistake... I'm thinking things are looking up for today and I was right...

Interview went awesome and they scheduled the follow up interview with the owner right there on the spot. I was extremely happy!

Go home change, then go pick up Babe Boy, then let MIL take Babe Girl shopping... I'm thinking I'm going to come home and relax right... NOPE.

New pup has taken a crap out the back of her kennel... and I'm like HOLY HELL! Not again... keep in mind I'd just cleaned my son of crap a few hours prior... So I get the kennel outside and hose it out, clean my floors and the dog.
A few moments later, she's puking... by this time I'm like WTF! ok... so I put her outside and give her some water... she comes in and 20 minutes later is at it again... I put her in the kennel because I'm sick of cleaning at this point... what does she do... Shit. again. I clean again and put her back in there.

I give the kids dinner, then a bath, and after their baths what do I walk out to find... You better believe it... Shit. More Shit than last time. So... I clean. Again.

I call The Man and tell him that I'm selling her on craigslist... I'm not dealing with this shit... pun intended... anymore... and then I hang up.

I go cry a bit out of sheer frustration then I call him back, say I was just kidding and put her back in her newly cleaned kennel... all has been quiet so far... I'm ready to put her in the garage if she takes a crap one more time...

I'm now drinking sweet tea vodka trying to calm my nerves... today has been exhausting to say the least...

Hi

I'm around... reading more than posting. This is hard... The days are fine, but it's the night when everything is quiet that I truly truly miss my husband. :-(

Anyway, I just got home from the Florida Aquarium and I'm POOPED. I went with a mom's group and good grief am I tired. We walked around, I got some good pictures then all 3 of us played in the splash pool. Babes 1 and 2 had a blasty blast and I'm looking forward to creating more good memories like that with them again soon.

I have a job interview on tomorrow. If I get the job great, if not, that wasn't God's plan for me. A new mantra, Let go and Let God. I know people have been using that for ages, but I think at this point in my life it really applies to me.

I'm at peace but I still have moments of turmoil, but not quite as much these days surprisingly. Could it be my Father carrying me through these tough times... I'd like to think so.

Soon as I get this stupid camera cord working I'll post pictures of the Babes... To think, I know my way around a computer, but can't get a cord to work... Blah. lol

Oh, I talked to the Man long and hard last night. I told him how we're feeling, that this isn't a cakewalk and I'm not going to pretend it is. I told him that Babe 1 is really having a hard time with this and that I'm scared to see how she copes when she's older. Don't get me wrong, she's being a doll, but she does have moments where she asks... Is daddy coming home tomorrow, and it KILLS me to have to say no, but not more than the look on her face when I say no... or when he calls to tuck her in and say goodnight because He's not there to read to her... or make the boo boos better...

It's only been 3 days but it feels like 3 years. Boo to this stupid war. I can't wait until this crap is over and my man can be at home with his family. You know, to my surprise he started talking about getting out and I to my surprise told him No. It's not an option, He's put almost a decade into this country, what's another one?

I told him that we'd be fine, that these deployments may not get easier, but we'll be alright. I hurt right now, but I'll be alright, Babe 1 hurts, but I'm praying that she will be alright.

Jeremiah 29:11

I sent him that verse in a text this morning. We both are clinging to that promise of hope and a brighter future for us.

Anyway, I went off on a tangent. Sorry. I just needed to put that out there I guess. lol.

Ciao.
Me.

I'm ok.

The man leaves tomorrow morning and I'm ok. Sad yes, scared sure, but I will be ok. Yep, I'm sure of that.

Mixed Chicks Hair Products

I just have to take a moment and say how much I truly love this stuff, if you have a biracial little girl, this product will be your best friend... I've tried a lot of different things on Babe 1's hair but this stuff right here takes the cake.

It's all natural and was created by 2 biracial women who have had the same problems as myself finding things for their hair. Love Love LOVE this stuff...

Sorry for the infomercial, but I know I have a lot of biracial mama's that read this and I found a nugget of goodness to make life easier and I wanted to share :-)

Mixed Chicks Hair Products

Since I can't get any sleep...

A Survey About The Man.


1. He's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?
ESPN, Any kind of sports game, something funny, or CNN
2. you're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?
He will only eat honey mustard and ever so often he'll switch up and get ranch
3. what's one food he doesn't like?
Onions... despises them...
4. you go out to the bar. what does he order?
Beer.
5. where did he go to high school?
South River Senior High
6. what size shoe does he wear? 11
7. if he was to collect anything, what would it be?
He collects magnets from where ever we visit.
8. what is his favorite type of sandwich?
Philly Steak and Cheese
9. what would this person eat every day if he could?
Cheese Pizza
10. what is his favorite cereal?
Vanilla Shredded Wheat
11. what would he never wear?
Anything Pink. Period. No matter what shade.
12. what is his favorite sports team?
Maryland Terrapins and Washington Redskins
13. who will he vote for? He's undecided.
14. who is his best friend(s)? Jimmy, Vashi, Matt, Kevin, Jeremy, Reitz, Mike, Ryan, Steve
15. what is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do?
Curse
16. how many states has he lived in? 4
17. what is his heritage? Greek and Irish
18. you bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake?
Strawberry with Cream Cheese Icing
19. did he play sports in high school? Football, Wrestling, Soccer, and Lacrosse
20. what could he spend hours doing?
Sleeping... Just kidding, really watching or playing sports and hanging out with our babes.

Freeborn... Kinda Catchy... LOL

Your Preppy Name Is...

Freeborn Sterling Godfrey the Second But most people know you as Gigi

What's Your Preppy Name?

I was running!

I ran almost 12 miles this weekend! I was pretty stoked about that... I woke up early and ran it made me feel really good for the rest of the day... Hopefully I can enter a few races soon!

I'm doing a lot better these days... I've realized that I have a lot going for me and that things aren't as bad as they seemed... I have a new outlook and I appreciate all who are here for me, your comments mean so much to me and I'm truly blessed or what some would call lucky to have such Rockstars in my life! You guys are awesome and I heart you something fierce!

PS. I'm even thinking about just being a SAHM *gasps*

I know right... the chick who was so anti SAHM. Whatev... things change... maybe I'll be a part timer... who knows... so many opportunities and possibilities right now...

The man and I sat down last night and did a budget and without paying big bucks a month in childcare I could totally stay home and we'd be fine. Presto snapo...

I have some pictures to upload later... :-) and more of a weekend recap coming soon.

Me.

A new day

Today has been ok. It's a new day and it's been better than the others. I've smiled at least twice, laughed once and I've hung out with a pretty cool 3 year old watching some cartoons.

I made an appointment to see my Therapist, progress there... I've not been so involved in job searching today... I've followed up on some of the previous interviews I've been on... sent out a couple of resumes, the usual.

Life doesn't stop because I'm had a breakdown... I let myself fall apart and now I have have to put myself back together again and I have to start somewhere.

My mantra... One day at a time. and when I get frustrated, This too shall pass... I will be happy again. I know I will.

Yet another

Interview... This morning... in an hour. Wish me luck... I really want this madness to end. Thanks!

Me.

The Joys of Phone Interviews

Ok... So, maybe Operation Job Search isn't going to well... I just had a phone interview and now I want to punch a wall. Yes... I'm seriously that angry and disappointed with how it went... Maybe, I just wasn't up to it, but I prepared myself in all the right ways and I'd never had a phone interview go south the way this one did.

Here's the gist of it...

IV - Good Afternoon, this is (______) from (______) is this a good time to talk?
Me - Good Afternoon, I think this is a great time to talk... *I'm kind of taken aback by the question as we had set the time up yesterday exactly to the second* LOL
IV - So, we're not even going to get into your resume... *goes on about the position*
Me - Not saying anything
IV - So, tell me how you implement a system for tracking projects in our system...
Me - Huh? Not so much Huh... but WTF?
Me - I don't know you're system but I can explain what I did at my previous company
IV - Oh, I see...
Me - Proceeding to tell him what went down at the old job
IV - Ok, well we'll be in touch... Have a great day...
Me - WTF... OK, Have a great day.

I don't know... but this shit is fucking frustrating... Yes, I cursed... I'm fucking tired of interviews... I'm tired of getting dressed up and talking myself up because that's just not me... I'm not one to brag... especially on myself... I think this whole downsizing thing has begun to take it's toll on me... I'm not one to be without work for this long and it's driving me batty.

I called The Man and he had some encouraging words, but I didn't want to hear that shit. I want someone to be just as angry and frustrated as I am right now at this very moment. I don't know... I really feel like packing all my shit and getting the hell out of Tampa. I'm fucking tired of feeling this way... maybe I just need a break from all the job hunting and really need to focus on me... BTW this bullshit couldn't have come at a worst time then now, especially with him leaving soon... I have no idea if I'll be able to find a job in less than 3 weeks, start the job, and be somewhat on a schedule with daycare before he leaves... This is crap and it's rediculous... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Really... That's how I feel.

19 Days

Until he's gone... Blah... I'm sick of this war and this crap. I don't want my husband to leave ever again... I don't want to go through this anymore. I'm just over it. I feel so bad for the Army and Marine wives who have it 10 times worst that me... I mean, The Man will be gone a little over 4 months... but Army and Marines deploy 3 times the length as that... Could you imagine, your sig other gone for 12 to 18 months at a time... I cry for them. I hurt for all those spouses... I know my time is going to be hard, but definitely not as hard as that. The military life is tough I suppose...

Anyway, I'm here... barely... I've kind of been like a robot these days... smiling on command. I don't want to the kids to see me hurt... especially Babe 1, she's not been through this yet and I'm trying to make it as pleasant as possible... especially, yes, I used especially again... since she's a daddy's girl through and through. Babe 2's going to be fine... the only problem with him is that he's going to have to get used to having his daddy around again. :(

Oh, this too shall pass I guess. Funk Shui I guess you'd call it. Anyway, I'm here. I'm trying to be present, but it's hard... Pray for me... especially for those first few weeks after... I think I'm going to try and unload here as much as I can, for my sake... just to get it out. You know... this blog has definitely been serving it's purpose... lol

I have pictures I'll post later... maybe...

Love,
Me


PS. Operation Job Search is going okay... I have a few leads and I'm praying that something happens soon... God knows we need it! :-) In that regard I'm staying plenty positive!

P.S.

THE GATORS WON THIS WEEKEND!!!! GO SEC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Florida 56 - Hawaii 10

Had to throw that in for good measure, College and NFL football is taken very serious in this household! :-D

Long Weekend

My weekend was pretty low key for the most part...

Friday besides watching Hurricane Gustav, The Man and I went to the mall with the kiddos to pick up some fall clothing, have lunch and pick up some games for the wii...

After we left there we went to MIL's house to switch out the batteries in their smoke detector... after that we hung out there for awhile and then MIL's husband decides to eat a sandwich with a fork, only to start scraping his plate Ace Ventura style... which mind you drives me insane! I HATE the sound of a scraping fork with a passion... anyway, I get pissed off and we leave.

Saturday was a blur because I slept most of the day... I wasn't feeling well so I took some tylenol cold pm and spent the day on the couch sleeping and watching the rain in between...

Yesterday we relaxed... I picked up some paint for the babe's rooms and I'm going to try and paint today... hopefully...

Yesterday afternoon we took a drive up to Clermont, FL to see an old old and very good friend a mine. She's a trip... happy to see us for about 10 minutes then she's trying to sell me Mona-Vie... LOL It was all good though and I'm happy to report I didn't buy any... That annoyed The Man to know end that she would do that...

We left her house after driving an hour to get there within 30 minutes... I was hungry and so was the rest of the family... So we find a restaurant and eat a very good dinner there... I was literally so hungry that I ate everything on my plate... I had a salmon steak with spanish rice and steamed veggies... Yum... The salmon had blue cheese crumbles and some kind of sauce drizzled on it... Man had the ribs of course and Babe 1 had wings and fries... Babe 2 got the occasional french fry or mouth full of rib... I wasn't sharing... What? I said I was hungry... LOL

I hope everyone had a fantastic long weekend, and my thoughts and prayers are with all those on the gulf coast right now, from Pensacola to Texas...