1/16/12

Help! My Preschooler is going to drive me crazy!



You see that face in the picture below?
It's cute right?
He looks like a even-tempered little man.
He's even sporting a smile.
Um... Yeah... 
As of the last few weeks not so much.


the culprit



Okay, so everyone knows that my wonderful little Athlete
turned 4 last year...
With that birthday 
came the dawning of something else new as well...
It's called tantrums.

Now as much as 
I like to post
that my children 
are
perfect
well-behaved, 
as of late 
I've been 
proven wrong
time and time 
again 
by said 
wonderful little athlete.

I'm at a loss y'all. 

With the Artist, we didn't have these problems.
She is 
well-mannered
well-behaved
well-dressed
and 
well...
Just super freaking awesome.
I love that girl.

I love my little boy as well,
I thank God for him 
all day, every day
don't get me wrong...
But my goodness
what do I do about these tantrums?

I could go old school like 
my mama and grand-mama's.
Yep.
We all know what that means... 
Anyway,
I can't bring myself to do that. 
I remember how it felt 
and 
how it made me feel
and
I just won't be doing that to my kids
or uh kid. 

Time-outs 
don't seem to work
for him. 
He gets up 
and/or
screams louder
 and said tantrums are 
subject to happen
 anywhere.
in front of anybody
He is an equal-opportunity tantrum thrower. 

His screams 
break my heart
 into like a million tiny pieces.
They are painful to hear.
I mean down-right awful!
:-(

I don't give in...
but
my goodness. 

How can I keep doing this?
He's wearing me down with every single scream.
I've read so much that I don't want to see another 
behavioral book or website. 

I want advice. I need help
from real mama's, mom's, mommy's, and Jan
if that's what your kid calls you... 

This weary soul is accepting any
and all advice. 

Help!
Please & Thank You.




8 comments:

To the Nth said...

I'm not a mama, so I don't have any words of wisdom or fabulous tantrum-averting advice. I just want to let you know I'm thinking of you! It sounds like you're staying firm and patient, which is all anyone could ask of a mother whose child is slamming headlong into a difficult developmental phase. With your guidance, he will eventually learn how to handle these emotional storms in an appropriate manner, and you will get through this. Take care!

Promise said...

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B. said...

I die at equal oppurtunity tantrum thrower. HAHA.

I have no words of advice. I'm just an Aunt and tend to drop them off at home when their mood is too much to handle. I think about how I'll handle my own kids- and I have no idea.

Kirsten- The Foreign Domestic said...

Sorry, I'm not a mom yet so I have no advice to give. But he's a cutie--probably not what you wanted to hear right now :).

Allison @ I heart Change said...

Oh, I know how hard that is! We never want to see our children upset.

My son is 2.5 so I'm sure our tantrums are a little different, but what works for us is "I cannot help you or understand you while you're so upset, please calm down and we'll talk and try to work this out." And then I walk away. Even in public. I'll stand a few feet away (if we're in public) and let him scream it out. And once he's calm enough, we talk about why he got so upset. We don't have that many tantrums, though, and he is younger, but I really hope that helps you. If his tantrum is because he wants something, usually I'll say no and explain why (we're leaving it for someone who really needs it or I need you to think about if you'll use that and we'll talk about it again before we leave the store).

I have noticed we get tantrums usually when he is tired or hasn't gotten enough play time, so maybe up those too if you can?

I hope things get better! He sure is a cutie. Remember, they won't last forever and you're a rock star mom for handling it without whooping!!!

candy said...

i'm not a huge fan of cute, catchy names for parenting related techniques, but have you heard a time-in? the premise is that, unlike a time-out which separates a child from the parent for less-than-stellar behavior, you take some 1 on 1 time to really examine what's going on with said kiddo. so a time-in may look like you taking your son to a special time-in location (a beanbag chair, a special spot on the couch, whatever) and having him sit on your lap and engaging him. trying to give words to his feelings of frustration, anger, whatever, and trying to get to the root of what ails him.

if he's in the midst of an all-out kicking/screaming/throwing a fit sort of tantrum, maybe you can bring him into another room where he can roll around on the floor to his heart's content (and not hurt himself), while you sit nearby waiting for him to come talk to you.

if you google "time-in" i'm sure you'll find all sorts of helpful links. sometimes i think at that age, particular for little boys (i have 2!) they just need help putting words to what they're feeling, and coming up with practical ways of expressing their bad feelings.

Grandma Becky said...

When our daughter was young and had tantrums, just leave the room and when he realizes he doesn't have an audience, he will quit. If he finds you then proceeds to throw tantrum again, ignore him. Send him to his room. Sometimes they want something and if they don't get it, tantrums come forth. Ignore it. See what happens, maybe that will help. Hang in there, momma!

Dana said...

I really do not have much advice, but stay in prayer.