It's been one year since you went away.

This weekend

marked

the one year

anniversary

of

my father's

untimely

exit of this world.

How does one celebrate

a death?

I mean do you?

Are you supposed to?

What do you say?

Happy Deathaversary?

I can tell you now that

I was far from

a celebratory mood.

I wasn't all teary

and crap either...

I just was.

I was in pain,

I was sad,

I was relieved that he doesn't have to suffer anymore.

I was humbled

that a God

so big

so mighty to save

so loving.

Cared enough

for me

to bring me through this past weekend

unscathed. Except for the memories that never were.

The what ifs.

The why nots

The if only's.

When do those go away?

Will they ever?

God, I pray they do.

 

SN: I got two tattoos and I love them.

This one is Hebrew and says I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine.

Song of Solomon 6:3

 This one has two words in one.

Both words are really special to me.

Comment if you can guess what they are.