So, here I was; doing well. I was eating okay, working out okay, on my way to being healthy, right?
Cue a move to a new place that’s on a canal where there is a ladder into the water for swimming enjoyment.
We’re BBQ-ing, listening to music, having a good ol’ time because we’re happy to be out of the deluxe apt in the sky. Granted I loved that penthouse, it could be a bit overwhelming at times. Too much space, too much cleaning, just too much, but I digress.
Daddy and da babies are floating, swimming having a great time, so I decide to join them.
I go upstairs and get my swimsuit on. Head on over to the ladder, that is metal btw, sit on it, and BAM! It breaks! Not one but both of the rungs and I go down deep underwater.
The guy panics, the kids start screaming, and I’m trying to figure out what the hell just happened. :-(
It was so embarrassing.
I had to use the neighbors ladder to get out, and while I was doing that she came out and was trying to ask me over for tea and how much we paid a month (yes, she really asked); also during all the commotion the Jameson had jumped in the water and was now headed out to sea… Yes. Swimming out towards the Persian Gulf was my weimaraner… (LOL I guess he was trying to escape the madness.) Thankfully Hubs got him before he had gone too far.
Finally we were all out of the water. I took the kids up for showers and to change while the guy cooked. We ate and luckily dinner was uneventful. Since it was the weekend, we let the kids watch a movie. Mr. and I had beers outside and rehashed what had happened.
I told him that it was my weight. Those rungs had collapsed under the pressure of my big ass, I had weighed myself while the kids were showering and the scale registered a whole 205 pounds. He kind of agreed… (arsehat) However, I did appreciate his honesty. It’s one of the things I love about him.
I’m disgusted with myself. I can’t believe that I have let myself get to this… Then to top it all off, the next day my 4 year old asked me why my belly was bigger than all the other mommies. *hangs head in shame*
What am I going to do? What can I do? I can’t live like this anymore. I need help, I need advice. I need something.
I’m so sad. I’m mad. I’m disappointed in me. :-(